The Situation
Luna saying hi.
I wasn't able to post anything these past few days; it’s actually kind of hard to find the right words to write anything.
I have gone through maybe the worst episode in my entire life; I have gone through so much pain and sadness that it threatened my whole disposition. It feels like at that very moment I have accumulated all the hate and anger of the whole world inside of my heart, I found it even hard to breathe normally, I felt nauseated and dizzy. I wanted to shout, scream my lungs out to release all the hatred and I even thought of ending my life.
Me
Read through my previous posts, you will see the general picture of my personality, I am a positive person. Whenever faced with problems and challenges, I always smile and face it wholeheartedly, I can always see a brighter side in almost anything even the meanest, the maddest and cruelest of adversities. But this one proves to be so much more that all of the things I went through combined.
The Intervention
Right now, I am sitting in front of my PC inside my darkened room. Holding a glass of rum in my left arm and typing with the other. I finally found the courage to write, why? I saw the moon and it taught me something.
I made a decision to forgive and it is this big, bright and full moon that explained it all to me. Its lunar pulse seems to peek on my open window and telling that I did right and it’s all worth it, its speaking to me telling its tale and own struggles.
The Similarity
Do you see the moon in the morning? For some, maybe yes but for many the most probable answer is no. Why? Because it brightness is being blocked by the glares of the mighty sun, it is hidden, almost locked and standing in the shadow of a bigger adversary. The sun does this everyday and every cycle, keeping the moon behind until well after dawn, but what does the moon do? It patiently waits for its turn and every time seems to be forgiving the sun.
What is sadder? The sun is not the only competition, for during the night when the sun is clear off the sky, there are this large and voluminous clouds still trying to block the shining glory of Luna. The moon persists, it she waits again and lets the clouds pass peacefully by so she may be able to provide its beautiful rays to the darkened vastness of the world again.
The Realization and Lesson
The Intervention
Right now, I am sitting in front of my PC inside my darkened room. Holding a glass of rum in my left arm and typing with the other. I finally found the courage to write, why? I saw the moon and it taught me something.
I made a decision to forgive and it is this big, bright and full moon that explained it all to me. Its lunar pulse seems to peek on my open window and telling that I did right and it’s all worth it, its speaking to me telling its tale and own struggles.
The Similarity
Do you see the moon in the morning? For some, maybe yes but for many the most probable answer is no. Why? Because it brightness is being blocked by the glares of the mighty sun, it is hidden, almost locked and standing in the shadow of a bigger adversary. The sun does this everyday and every cycle, keeping the moon behind until well after dawn, but what does the moon do? It patiently waits for its turn and every time seems to be forgiving the sun.
What is sadder? The sun is not the only competition, for during the night when the sun is clear off the sky, there are this large and voluminous clouds still trying to block the shining glory of Luna. The moon persists, it she waits again and lets the clouds pass peacefully by so she may be able to provide its beautiful rays to the darkened vastness of the world again.
The Realization and Lesson
So, as I am looking right now, I heard myself saying, yes! I want to be like you, I want to be like the moon. I want to be patient like her; I wanted to be strong enough and wise enough to when it is not and when it is finally the right time. I want to be persistent like her, that no matter my troubles and problems and disappointments I can continue to survive and fight until such time I am given another opportunity to redeem myself again. And finally, I wanted to be as forgiving as she does, that I will cry and hate because of the pain and hardships but at the end of the day I will have enough courage to see things in brighter lights, learned to acknowledge the reality of my struggles and understand their importance to my growth as a person, which to the best of my interest will enable me to forgive all the things that I hated, persons that put me in so much pain and still not set aside the lessons they brought to my life.
I believe, if you and they would only know, you and they will be laughing at me right now and maybe for the rest of my life. But I don't care; I've thought things over and decided to forgive. Why I did that? Because I am capable, because my love is bigger than all the hate and pain, because I don't want to be taken away with my emotions and judgment and do something I will regret in all the days that god will allow me to have from this moment onward.
I can say, my love is just too big and ours is just something worth everything to keep. It is a beautiful life and a beautiful world, if you are in the dark, look the other way and you might be able to see some light.
And it will be a brighter world and brighter life.
Luna waving me goodnight.
I believe, if you and they would only know, you and they will be laughing at me right now and maybe for the rest of my life. But I don't care; I've thought things over and decided to forgive. Why I did that? Because I am capable, because my love is bigger than all the hate and pain, because I don't want to be taken away with my emotions and judgment and do something I will regret in all the days that god will allow me to have from this moment onward.
I can say, my love is just too big and ours is just something worth everything to keep. It is a beautiful life and a beautiful world, if you are in the dark, look the other way and you might be able to see some light.
And it will be a brighter world and brighter life.
Luna waving me goodnight.
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