Men
are carefree in general, some say that you should enjoy you bachelorhood
because when you get married and finally settled down you will not have the
same amount of opportunities to enjoy.
I think that's the most common misconception among men, I hate to think there are some who consider married life to be boring and just plain bland. Well, with that said I just want to give my own on being unmarried and it’s “difference” from being a family man.
I think it is a phase that all men should be able to go through, except of course those with their bows of celibacy (not only the religious ones). I personally am still a bachelor myself, and despite the scary and sometimes exaggerated accounts of my married friends of the so called "realities" of married life, I am still looking forward to the day that I will finally watch the girl of my dreams walk down the aisle and profess my love and devotion in front of the altar.
But hey, I will not be talking about married life altogether since I already said that I am still a bachelor myself. Instead, I will be giving my insights about finding the one and making her stay and when and how to be sure when you yourself are ready to take on marriage.
The shift between a footloose bachelor into a having a proper relationship can be tricky, although some might say that it is, settling down actually depends a lot more on our attitude towards "settling down" itself and less on entertaining the possibility that the girl of our dreams will one day land on our laps.
I am in a stage right now when the old days of imagining about having lots and lots of women to satisfy my carnal pleasures don't appeal to me that way again, and it seems like it is draining down my system and being replaced by a more agreeable concept of a lasting relationship with just one and that one should be the one.
Sadly, my experiences with women does not help me now and it never will I guess, especially in my pursuit in settling down.
I have this list, a list of some of the fallacies about marriage that I know already. Why I know this do you ask? Me and my girlfriend are on our 7th year and counting, somehow I feel like I already gone through the woes of married life.
1. Married life means you can always have someone to chat. There are times in our human existence wherein we crave for someone to talk just to let out all the frustrations, depressions and stress. And some think that the answer is getting married to be able to have an all listening ear on hand whenever we want to berate about the sad realities of life. Well, newsflash, that’s not supposed to be the set up and it will never will, sure from time to time we will be able to have the opportunity of having our love ones listening to our selfish thoughts but most of the time it’s the other way around. It’s like nature, we are made to listen and not the one who will do the taking, if you think you are prone to issue that you want to express well you can bet your luck our partners are more into it than you.
2. Married life means there’s always a hot meal waiting at home for you. There’s this saying which goes something like "a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach" which by all means is true, who would not want a woman who will cook for you and feed you? But nowadays, with what they call the millennial who are more used to the fast paced life as brought about by technological advances, no one really cares more about learning how to cook to be a "good" wife. She is not your mother and you can never expect her to do just that, the new trend is both partners having their own individual life goals and pursuing it individually through their chosen careers, which totally diminishes the possibility of anyone having the time to cook. If you are a traditional guy who thinks women are supposed to be at home doing chores, you need to reevaluate your standards because in the long run its either she will leave you for demanding so much of her time or you would just give because she just wouldn't cook. There’s a new word on the streets, "instant" everything and you got to be able to live with it.
3. I can always retain my private space. Guess what, there this unseen shift in the governing and decision making hierarchy of today’s society, a deviation from the "patriarchal" kind of family affairs process. You will always get your first say on everything but she gets to decide, and with that puffs your "self preservation" view of things which ultimately "violates" your privacy as a person. Your room will be decorated according to her taste, your wardrobe, hell even your food preference.
4. Life will be cheaper when married. Well, she will save a lot that's for sure, as for you, you will be forking out for the majority of expenses and it will not be cheap. Imagine having to buy and pay for two of everything when you are comfortable buying for your own self before, again, its nature at work and norms indeed.
Lastly?
6. Married means "sex on tap". Libido just can't be immortal, during your first few years maybe, but it tends to depreciate and if you are unable to handle or accept it, the relationship just won’t work because it will become an issue. There’s work and when there’s work there stress which will weigh you down on the positions, foreplay and orgasms. You're bound to lose appetite and interest seeing each other naked but your commitment to the one and only love of your life makes for seeing another younger beauty out of the question.
In truth, above than just pure love, what a long lasting relationship requires is understanding of both your differences for you will never ever get to have a woman who will think and look at things the way that you do, so sacrifices are inevitable but more for you as you are the one who's supposed to make adjustments more and complain less.
I hope this helps.
I think that's the most common misconception among men, I hate to think there are some who consider married life to be boring and just plain bland. Well, with that said I just want to give my own on being unmarried and it’s “difference” from being a family man.
I think it is a phase that all men should be able to go through, except of course those with their bows of celibacy (not only the religious ones). I personally am still a bachelor myself, and despite the scary and sometimes exaggerated accounts of my married friends of the so called "realities" of married life, I am still looking forward to the day that I will finally watch the girl of my dreams walk down the aisle and profess my love and devotion in front of the altar.
But hey, I will not be talking about married life altogether since I already said that I am still a bachelor myself. Instead, I will be giving my insights about finding the one and making her stay and when and how to be sure when you yourself are ready to take on marriage.
The shift between a footloose bachelor into a having a proper relationship can be tricky, although some might say that it is, settling down actually depends a lot more on our attitude towards "settling down" itself and less on entertaining the possibility that the girl of our dreams will one day land on our laps.
I am in a stage right now when the old days of imagining about having lots and lots of women to satisfy my carnal pleasures don't appeal to me that way again, and it seems like it is draining down my system and being replaced by a more agreeable concept of a lasting relationship with just one and that one should be the one.
Sadly, my experiences with women does not help me now and it never will I guess, especially in my pursuit in settling down.
I have this list, a list of some of the fallacies about marriage that I know already. Why I know this do you ask? Me and my girlfriend are on our 7th year and counting, somehow I feel like I already gone through the woes of married life.
1. Married life means you can always have someone to chat. There are times in our human existence wherein we crave for someone to talk just to let out all the frustrations, depressions and stress. And some think that the answer is getting married to be able to have an all listening ear on hand whenever we want to berate about the sad realities of life. Well, newsflash, that’s not supposed to be the set up and it will never will, sure from time to time we will be able to have the opportunity of having our love ones listening to our selfish thoughts but most of the time it’s the other way around. It’s like nature, we are made to listen and not the one who will do the taking, if you think you are prone to issue that you want to express well you can bet your luck our partners are more into it than you.
2. Married life means there’s always a hot meal waiting at home for you. There’s this saying which goes something like "a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach" which by all means is true, who would not want a woman who will cook for you and feed you? But nowadays, with what they call the millennial who are more used to the fast paced life as brought about by technological advances, no one really cares more about learning how to cook to be a "good" wife. She is not your mother and you can never expect her to do just that, the new trend is both partners having their own individual life goals and pursuing it individually through their chosen careers, which totally diminishes the possibility of anyone having the time to cook. If you are a traditional guy who thinks women are supposed to be at home doing chores, you need to reevaluate your standards because in the long run its either she will leave you for demanding so much of her time or you would just give because she just wouldn't cook. There’s a new word on the streets, "instant" everything and you got to be able to live with it.
3. I can always retain my private space. Guess what, there this unseen shift in the governing and decision making hierarchy of today’s society, a deviation from the "patriarchal" kind of family affairs process. You will always get your first say on everything but she gets to decide, and with that puffs your "self preservation" view of things which ultimately "violates" your privacy as a person. Your room will be decorated according to her taste, your wardrobe, hell even your food preference.
4. Life will be cheaper when married. Well, she will save a lot that's for sure, as for you, you will be forking out for the majority of expenses and it will not be cheap. Imagine having to buy and pay for two of everything when you are comfortable buying for your own self before, again, its nature at work and norms indeed.
Lastly?
6. Married means "sex on tap". Libido just can't be immortal, during your first few years maybe, but it tends to depreciate and if you are unable to handle or accept it, the relationship just won’t work because it will become an issue. There’s work and when there’s work there stress which will weigh you down on the positions, foreplay and orgasms. You're bound to lose appetite and interest seeing each other naked but your commitment to the one and only love of your life makes for seeing another younger beauty out of the question.
In truth, above than just pure love, what a long lasting relationship requires is understanding of both your differences for you will never ever get to have a woman who will think and look at things the way that you do, so sacrifices are inevitable but more for you as you are the one who's supposed to make adjustments more and complain less.
I hope this helps.
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